You better get over there before it’s all gone, ’cause it’s goin’… real fast.
Category Archives: crafts
Anyone Can Wear A Scarf
Christy Minstrel (scarf fan, aficionado and stylist) encourages scarf lovers and others to visit the source of so many silky squares – “Vera Paints A Scarf” at The Museum of Arts and Design in NYC and yes, there will be ladybugs.
Click the pics to read all about it and get tickets.
STYLE NOTE: A scarf, with sunglasses and lipstick can constitute a satisfying and time saving Full Drag.
A Three Piece Summer Salad Dressed Simply
…walks into a salad bar. Just Kidding.
It’s summer. Ideas are harder to find when you’re overheated and hungry.
Here’s one for you. In the words of Marlene Menard, the mid-eighties East Village chanteuse and star of Tom Rubnitz‘s video short masterpiece, Chicken Elaine, “et voila, it’s easy and fancy.”
Fennel, Blood Orange and Hazlenut Salad
- 1 large fennel bulb, thoroughly washed
- 2 blood oranges, sliced
- 1/2 cup whole raw hazelnuts
- 1 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
- 1–2 tbsp fresh squeezed lemon juice
- 1/2 tsp sea salt
Cut fennel bulb in half and slice it super thin.
Supreme the oranges. (Supremeing an orange) If you are not concerned about the “ooh la la” you can peel them and slice then into thin discs. If you supremed them you can, take a full ballet style bow then cut them into bite sized pieces.
Toast the hazlenuts. Don’t roast ’em. Don’t burn ’em. Just toast ’em then chop ’em.
Dress everything with olive oil and lemon juice an sea salt.
Serve this alone or on top of some mildly flavored lettuce like one from the Butterhead family for example. Butterhead…relax!, it’s vegan.
Pat Dry’s Classic Three Bean Salad
Pat Dry’s Classic 3 Bean Salad:
-1 can garbanzo beans, rinsed & drained
-1 can red beans, rinsed & drained
-Similar amount of green beans, blanched in boiling water 3 minutes & plunged in an ice bath
-1 minced shallot or some finely chopped red onion
-chopped Italian parsley
-simple vinaigrette. I like extra virgin olive oil & white balsamic vinegar (or lemon juice)
Mix it all together. Eat it.
Flashcubes were formerly flash “bulbs” which were occasionally known down South and around the trailer parks of Pennsyltucky as flash “bubs.” I have some, you bet I do and here’s your free tip about flashcubes if you’re using the Polaroid bigshot anytime soon – MAGICUBES. They’re better. They’re brighter. If you happen to be in front of one when it blasts get ready for a full minute of blue dot total blindness. Magicubes. Who makes ’em? Good question. Answer is nobody, idiot. They’re from the 60’s. Who used to make ’em? Sylvania, G.E. and Westinghouse mostly but Sylvania Magicubes are the only ones I trust and I tried ’em all. So remember now, Magicubes by Sylvania (like TRANSylvania but without the reassignment surgery.Now you’ll definitely remember.) Blue dots forever! You can close your eyes if you want to BUT IT DOESN”T GO AWAY!!!
Well gee uncle Billy, how do these magic cubes work?
Not magic cubes, kid. MAGICUBES. Two words in one – got it? Now put down your phone and I’ll tell you how they work and you’re going to be surprised because they actually have gun powder in them…like bullets…which kill people because of guns. Anyway, it’s like this….
The flashbulb is filled with combustible material (zirconium wool sealed under high pressure) and its base has a powder filled primer cap. When the shutter is released, a tiny hammer linked to the shutter release mechanism is actuated that strikes the base of the bulb setting off the charge in the primer. The primer in turn fires a flash charge that ignites the combustible mixture in the flashbulb producing flash of very high intensity.
The Fine Art of Portrait Tattooing
I think that it’s really important to try out new ways of expressing oneself artistically. I feel as though it enriches the soul to endeavour new types of artistic medium to manifest one’s effusion towards life. There are so many options. Whether it’s macramé, interpretive modern dance, joining your local mummenschanz troupe… the possibilities are quite simply ENDLESS. I’ve decided that since I’m very minimally adept at figurative drawing and painting; and exceptionally, deeply, and distinctively bereft talent wise. (especially pertaining to portraiture representations of human beings), I made the completely ridiculous choice that I should try my hand at the beautiful art of Portrait Tattooing. I mean, it only makes sense right?My first thought was which person out of all the people in the world… who’s likeness shall I choose to portray? The second thought was from which group of people would I select to be the person (or persons) to BE my living canvases? In selecting a subject I decided that whomever I selected should be noteworthy. I have seen Portrait Tattoos depicting random ugly babies, unattractive spouses or deceased loved ones…but then I thought; who really cares? Those tattoos are of nobodies. I mean, those kinds of subjects would definitely have had some kind of significance to the people who chose to place them upon themselves..but from the general public’s viewpoint? They have zero meaning. I thought that the concept of having some random celebrity… (whom you have never known or ever even met) …having that celebrity’s image permanently displayed forever on your body would be so much better! So what dead person of infinite beauty, and of course, easily recognisable to everyone should I choose? Why Marilyn Monroe of course! Her iconic image permeates our society even after her death fifty eight years ago. I doubt that there are any people on this planet who are as famous and recognisable. So in choosing my human canvases, I had to select the most incidental, unimportant, casual acquaintances that I could think of. People who would also be the most appreciative recipients of her likeness; wanting her visage being proudly preserved on their bodies forever. So after seconds of intense pondering and deliberation, I chose four middle-aged gay men from middle America whom I had basically no previous connections to. (I used Craig’s List) My criterium?They had to be gullible, easily persuaded (and drunk). I think that you will agree with me that my attempts to immortalise Marilyn speak for themselves.
Since there obviously is no way that I could possibly improve upon my skills and abilities with this very ancient and significant art form, I think that I shall move on to bedazzling, and puffy painting sweatshirts. I feel that this above mentioned particular art form is sadly and undeservedly in decline.
A Quick Acting Exercise
Answering the door, as an actor you will need to have this skill. Here’s how to do it.
As an exercise, answer the door EXACTLY like this substituting “Stella” with the name of whomever is at your door. It’s OK to use “my (darling) neighbor,” or “the (darling) mailman” if you don’t know their name but it is not OK to omit the word “darling.” Answer the door exactly this way for six months to a year.
A New Sequin
When I first watched about a third of this video I was halfway interested in a “NEW SEQUIN.” Hey, I’m only human. But not long after it started one word came to mind…
Word Origin and History for naff
British slang word with varied uses, not all certainly connected; see Partridge, who lists three noun uses: 1. “female pudenda” (c.1845), which might be back-slang from fan , shortening of fanny (in the British sense); 2. “nothing,” in prostitutes’ slang from c.1940; 3. a euphemism for fuck (v.) in oaths, imprecations, expletives (e.g. naff off ), 1959, “making it slightly less obvious than eff ” [Partridge]; and an adjective naff “vulgar, common, despicable,” said to have been used in 1960s British gay slang for “unlovely” and thence adopted into the slangs of the theater and the armed forces.
Let’s take a moment for Ceramics.
( A sound effect is heard after finding a roach in your college Ceramics 101 final. )
and here they are Ra-doing it, live.
The Cinematography Of Emmanuel Lubezki
Congratulations Alfonso Cuarón – high dynamic range, papá.!!
Getting GIFfy With Glitter
…and the Campus Cuties. ( I live alone. They are my only friends.)
The 2018 Holiday Windows Report Has Begun!
This year, we are dedicating our coverage of the 2018 holiday windows in New York City and the Greater New York City Metropolitan Area to Cheryl Mackenzie. Do you know Cheryl? She probably knows you. I haven’t seen Cheryl in quite a while but I hope to see her everyday. Nothing so far. Cheryl? – these windows are for you, babe. Happy Holidays to you and to all of our friends who’s names do not appear on their driver’s licenses.
Let the coverage begin!
A SAD START – Christy Minstrel reports some very sad news to us tonight from the East side of Lexington Avenue and 59th St. regarding one of the Greater Metropolitan Area’s most renown annual displays. And now, the deeply troubling report…
This eew inspiring window display could do with an apology to pedestrians. This Boo-mingdales’ window silently screams, “I used glue!” and looks like nail polish smells. What happened to concepts? Too hard to grasp? Then even an idea would have done more than more is more because in fact, more is more is a bore, especially when we are at war! The Wishnik hairdo and bedazzled ladder are not worthy of comment so don’t go looking for one because you’re not going to find a comment on the Wishnik hairdo and bedazzled ladder anywhere in this post. Save yourself some time and just stop reading this right now because this post is OVAH!
Trust the British on this one.
UFO Sightings Increase Again In Connecticut
The number of recent reported UFO sightings in Connecticut this fall continue to pour in. More than 75 sightings have been reported thus far during 2018, according to the National UFO Reporting Center.
Newington and Stamford have had multiple sightings recently. Towns with recent reported sightings include: Newington, Burlington, Simsbury, Simsbury, Somers, Wallingford, Sandy Hook, Bridgeport, Harwington, and Stamford.
are all of the Connecticut communities that have reported at least one
sighting in 2018 thus far: Newington, Bristol, Eastford, Lebanon,
Plainville, Norwich, Fairfield, Plantsville, Danbury, Branford,
Greenwich, West Haven, Southington, East Hartford, Norwalk, Bethany,
Vernon, Stratford, Pawcatuck, Trumbull, Clinton, Meriden, Berlin,
Shelton, Jewett City, Hartford, Torrington, Tolland, Middletown,
Ridgefield, Darien, North Haven, Waterford, Winsted, Watertown,
Bridgeport, Hebron, Southbury, Newington, Somers, Simsbury, Harwington,
Wallingford, Sandy Hook, Burlington, and Coventry.
So does all of this mean there is something out there? Who knows. There have been a dozen reports from the end of August through early November.
Here are some reported recent accounts of various UFO sightings in Connecticut.
“I am a stay at home mom, who has never paid much attention to UFO’s. Last Friday, my kids were still asleep in bed, when I awoke at 6 am. I was in the bathroom and it was completely dark outside. All the sudden I noticed a bright light shining in through a large window. The light was travelling slowly across the bathroom floor, which has 3 large windows in it. I noticed it immediately, as we live deep in the forest, far away from neighbors. Our house is located on 8 acres of forested land, and the bathroom is on the second floor.
I walked over to the window and looked up, and to my utter shock and amazement, I saw a gigantic rectangular shape moving slowly just above the tree line. The window was open, and I heard a low humming noise coming from it. I was awestruck as I tried to make sense of what I was witnessing. The craft was as large as a 747 airplane in length, as it slowly passed by.
I couldn’t see any of the sides or the top as it was so low down and close to our home, less then 50 feet from the house. I could only see the bottom, which was filled with rows of red and white lights. There were 3 rows of glowing illuminated white round lights the whole length of the craft on each side, for a total of 6 rows.
In between the white rows of lights were 2 rows of red glowing lights. The lights were dim, similar to car headlights pulling up in front of the house at night, but were clearly round shaped. It was only one single craft, and due to its size and low flight above our home, it blocked out the night sky as it hovered slowly past. I was frozen in the spot, and didn’t even think to run and try to capture the image on my phone, which wasn’t on me. At each of the four corners were red blinking lights.
The shape was
definitely flat and rectangular, like nothing I have ever seen in my
life.The craft glided by for about 60 long seconds, and slowly drifted
out of my line of sight, over the trees. As it got further away, the
lights turned to look bluish, and I could no longer see the detail of
the round lights. I called my husband right away, as he had already left
for work, and then I called to report it to the local police, who had
not received any other calls and didn’t know how to respond. I was very
scared to witness this, and am still having a hard time coming to terms
with it. I know it was much too large to be a drone of any type, and all
other indications about its shape, sound, height, and movement prevent
me from believing it was anything identifiable as man made,” reports a
((NUFORC Note: We spoke via
telephone with both the wife and husband, and both of them seemed to us
to be responsible, sober-minded people. We strongly suspect that the
wife’s account above is accurate, and a sincere account of a strange
“Large lit object cruising at very low altitude over Rt 34 in CT at night – no airport immediately nearby. Witnessed while driving NW on RT 34 in CT between the Stevenson Dam and Great Ring Road.Object was floating at a low altitude over Route 34, it was very large, and had many white lights along the sides. Lights were steady – not flashing.
It was way
too low and noiseless to be a 747 jet, and moving too slowly and
silently. It looked like it was only a couple hundred feet up over the
treetops. The shape was hard to describe, it looked rather rectangular
when in front of us – like a big floating platform – then appeared to be
more triangular as we passed underneath and looked back to try to get a
better look.We turned into Great Ring Road and then tried to get a
better look at it, but it was gone. There were plenty of planes in the
sky at the same time – at normal altitudes though,” reported in Sandy
“4 glowing circular objects in the North Western sky near Meriden CT. My wife called me to one of our back upstairs windows, yelling about 4 UFOs in the sky. I can confirm that she wasn’t seeing things. She saw them appear as they were white glowing circular objects in the distance. They made formations in a V shape, They also were crossing paths, i.e. 2 of the objects would “bump” off of each other or were crossing paths – unsure.
They also changed color and glowed bright red. They flew low and high, i.e. 2 we’re behind the trees in the distance, while 2 ascended and occasionally disappeared and reappeared in our sight. We don’t believe these were aircraft as they weren’t traveling in a particular direction and then they just disappeared. We called a local airport and left a message as no one answered the phone. My wife also heard a strange noise outside which is what got her attention to look out the window in the first place,” reported in Wallingford.
The NUFORC has existed since 1974 and investigates reported sightings around the world. There have been more than 90,000 reports made globally.
You may think states like New Mexico — home of the infamous 1947 Roswell “UFO crash” (actually, the Air Force said the crash involved a weather balloon, not a flying saucer) — have the most sightings. However, a report by 24/7 Wall St., which is a financial news and opinion site, suggests you’re just as likely to see E.T. in the Northeast and Northwest.
Here are the top 10 places in the country for UFO sightings per 100,000 residents.
- New Hampshire
- New Mexico
The most commonly reported UFO at 13 percent appears as a light. Others include disks, spheres, cigars, flashes and even formations.
It’s Tall Taper Weather
Once again it’s the time of year for 36″ or taller tapers, preferably in black.
Stock up. You never know when the power may go out. These are great even before you burn them because they are somewhat freakishly tall which scares a lot of people. Good. Candle haters and easy scares are not my type anyway.
Hail Satin. (It’s never out of style and looks so great by candlelight.)
Currently, there is a “Black Leather” scented candle being offered by a nationwide purveyor you may have heard of…Target? Anyway, the 6″ X 3″ pillar is only six doll hairs and let me tell you, it’s scented. It’s scented BACK! This thing is the ooh la la of overscented anythings. I’m smelling mine now. MMMMM. Smells “kinda” like leather. I have it in the original packaging (shrink wrapped and doubled bagged) and in the bottom of my closet under the Leather Squirrel sound system. Oooh – leather. Yeah. It’s basically some kind of ultra-volatile un-stable scent molecule drenched fragrance bomb. I recomennd them highly…like if you’re high. Mine has been scenting my entire “pied-a-terre OK, soon to be on the market mini-loft’ for weeks. That’s a lot of scent for six clams.
These are perfect for musty smelling auditoriums, rubber wreaking blimp hangers and landfills. One should do it.
Super Top Secret Decorating Tip
This one’s FOR FREE – You probably heard about spider plants by now. They are all the way back and if you don’t have one yet, you will….soon. But the real insider’d tip that I can let you in on is The Brass Hanging Planter. It’s brass, it hangs thanks to a clever bracket and it’s the perfect place for a spider plant (they love brass, ask ’em.)
This is an instant update for any tired apartment which is where most people reading this live. Look around you now, exciting? Probably not. Get a brass hanging planter going and watch what happens.n This tip is free. If you call Fernando you will pay thousands. Thank me later.
See? EX – CITE – MENT.
This part’s technical, but that’s the “bracket” that a designer would use to “install” your brass hanging planter. Yeah. It’s a decorator thing. Fernando knows all about these babies…$$$$. This is for insiders ONLY.
A Very Non-Vegetarian Vincent Price Check
Price Check on Billy’s Blog.
I have a price check on billybeyond.com.
PORK CHOPS – By Vincent Price
EXCERPT – A recently never published interview with Vincent Price
Vincent, before I ask you anything at all I have to ask you, are you any relation to Flo Price? …FLO Price, the baking author? No? No problem, moving on.*
Vincent I never realized you made so many cook books.
Did you know I worked on a cookbook too? Well, it was really more of a combination craft, cooking, how not to, type of joke, entertaining entertainment sort of fake bake … it’s hard to categorize actually. But I’ll tell you one thing, I had never worked with raw poultry before and certainly not in the dead of August and with hot lights.
“Chicken Shelves” – from “I Like You” by Amy Sedaris
Well did you know that Halston did wigs?
There really are so many things that most people just don’t know.
For (Town) Cryin’ Out Loud
Sept 30th – Grand Central – 5 Masonic – Provincetown – 9 to 1 – With me, your music maestro toute la nuit