A Three Piece Summer Salad Dressed Simply

…walks into a salad bar. Just Kidding.

It’s summer. Ideas are harder to find when you’re overheated and hungry.

Here’s one for you. In the words of Marlene Menard, the mid-eighties East Village chanteuse and star of Tom Rubnitz‘s video short masterpiece, Chicken Elaine, “et voila, it’s easy and fancy.”

Fennel, Blood Orange and Hazlenut Salad

Ingredients

  • 1 large fennel bulb, thoroughly washed
  • 2 blood oranges, sliced
  • 1/2 cup whole raw hazelnuts
  • 1 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
  • 1–2 tbsp fresh squeezed lemon juice
  • 1/2 tsp sea salt

Cut fennel bulb in half and slice it super thin.

Supreme the oranges. (Supremeing an orange) If you are not concerned about the “ooh la la” you can peel them and slice then into thin discs. If you supremed them you can, take a full ballet style bow then cut them into bite sized pieces.

Toast the hazlenuts. Don’t roast ’em. Don’t burn ’em. Just toast ’em then chop ’em.

Dress everything with olive oil and lemon juice an sea salt.

Serve this alone or on top of some mildly flavored lettuce like one from the Butterhead family for example. Butterhead…relax!, it’s vegan.

Finito.

Smashing Time

Hooray! It’s the entire film! In 1989 Tom Rubnitz started a short film project with Tasty Tim and me. It was to be called “Smashing Time ’89,” and we filmed a few scenes swishing down London’s Carnaby Street but alas, it was never finished.

This hilarious romp is required viewing for all. There will NOT be a short quiz afterwards, however a selection of the best lines should be committed to memory in order to remain gay.

 

Turrah!