You Can Catch The Brass Ring Right Here!

I have a little present for you so cheer up. I’m giving you a flawlessly ripped and mastered digital version of an album by The Brass Ring – Love Theme From Flight Of The Phoenix (I know, longer title please.) This record is a state of mind and it’s an excited state, so please, if you are on any kind of uppers or crystal meth or six cups of coffee please BE CAREFUL. Peppy is not the word. Personally I love this album. It gets the house clean if you know what I mean. Musically The Brass Ring were the real deal. Some referred to them as an East Coast Herb Alpert and The Tijuana Brass. Mmm….maybe. The recordings are top notch – This was ripped from a sealed copy and the label is Dunhill Records (class) and the pressing is deep. There is NO REMASTERING on these recordings. Get into it – this is from the needle to the numbers. I just made that up. You can read all about TBR on Wikipedia but nobody is going to do that except me ad Douglas Demille and he’s dead. So it’s time to upgrade your lounge collection, peeps. Get this into your iTunes and blast the bitch. There is so much to listen to on this one, things waaaaay in the back somewhere, things over on the right, things that make you ask – what the hell even was that? You’ll see, but don’t try blaming me later if you have a seizure or just can’t ever get enough of THE BRASS RING because there is no cure for the TBR addiction. I should know, I have been listening to TBR for about 23 years, five months, six days and, what time is it? – Time to play THE BRASS RING AGAIN!!! YAY!!!

DOWNLOAD THE ALBUM HERE

This is a personal link so no funny business like your flash player is out of date or that type of bullshit. Tell your friends! There’s plenty of TBR for everyone here at Billy Beyond Dot Com. If I can just suggest one thing to you though, stereo separation is important to the experiencing of this record’s fine fidelity. Stop looking at me that way. It’s true. Somany bullshit bluetooth (compressed even more) speakers are sadly mono. Nobody wants mono, do you? Stick to two speakers with a space between them and you’ll be glad you did. What we are talking about is dimension is sound. It’s a must. (Did I just ruin it for your new bluetooth speaker? – well, Sorry! You can take it back if you used Amex. Byeeeeee)

DIG THE FRONT
DIG THE BACK
LABELS DARLING.
SIDE B, LADIES

A New Sequin

When I first watched about a third of this video I was halfway interested in a “NEW SEQUIN.” Hey, I’m only human. But not long after it started one word came to mind…

NAFF

Word Origin and History for naff
v.
British slang word with varied uses, not all certainly connected; see Partridge, who lists three noun uses: 1. “female pudenda” (c.1845), which might be back-slang from fan , shortening of fanny (in the British sense); 2. “nothing,” in prostitutes’ slang from c.1940; 3. a euphemism for fuck (v.) in oaths, imprecations, expletives (e.g. naff off ), 1959, “making it slightly less obvious than eff ” [Partridge]; and an adjective naff “vulgar, common, despicable,” said to have been used in 1960s British gay slang for “unlovely” and thence adopted into the slangs of the theater and the armed forces.

It Could (No Longer) Happen To You…

…because Ed McMahon is no longer with us.

When I worked with Ed in LA I had no idea it would be the puffiest point of my life. (I am the pale pink guy on the left.) This Polaroid was taken by the talented Charlie Altuna during a month long photoshoot for TV Guide that was literally a daily carousel of stars. This picture remains one of my all time favorite souvenirs. When I asked Ed to pose with me while pointing to a check I thought I was being pretty clever. His reaction was a stone-faced, “no reaction” and he said simply, “Oh, you want it with the check, sure.” The whole thing took about two seconds. We stepped outside and approximately half a second before the shutter snapped he hit the pose and his face became the Ed McMahon all of America would recognize. We go it. Later we had a few laughs while waiting for lighting and I think he appreciated my “classic corn” style banter and I did get him laughing more than once.

When he was about to put his jacket on for the shoot he called me over to show me his cufflinks – a gift from his wife. They were little gold watches. The right one was set three hours ahead of the left one. He was soft spoken and made sure I got a very up close good long look at them. Leisurely he told me how he honestly needed them because he was back and forth across the country so often that this was the only way he could keep track of time.

While giving each cuff a final little tug he delivered the unexpected punch, (but softly and without emotion) “Left coast, right coast. That’s how I keep it straight.”

I was instantly in silent hysterics. Talk about timing! That was a private three minute performance…and no smerks from Johnny. Did you know Ed was also a singer?

God, I miss showbusiness. Is anybody in showbusiness anymore? I guess not.

Yes, You May(belline)

The man who finds Buddhism in mascara

A report from our Left Coast Wessside Reporter

Kodo Nishimura is a make-up artist from Japan. He leads an unusual double life, as he is also a fully trained Buddhist monk.

As a gay man, he has found that Buddhism has accepted his sexuality. Some of his followers on Instagram ask for his advice, telling him that their families frown upon homosexuality because of their religion in their parts of the world. For Kodo, Buddhism has instead shown him equality, and encouraged him to be himself.

In Japan, Buddhist monks can have other careers alongside their life as a monk. Kodo got to train as a make-up artist in the US, and he believes that allowing monks to lead lives outside the monastery has helped the faith survive in contemporary Japanese society

Leaving Neverland And The Fallout For DJ’S

After watching what I consider to be the first fully truthful documentary about Michael Jackson’s serial child molestations I am feeling depressed but certainly not shocked. In 1997 I read, “Michael Jackson Was My Lover: The Secret Diary of Jordie Chandler” and believed every word of it. This truth is not news to me. Lots of us read it back then and the shocking paperback got passed around our group of friends resulting in many even higher raised eyebrows to say the least. I think it was the first book I ever bought online actually because it was only permitted to be published in Chile due to the Chandler’s secret out of court settlement. I wish it had been returned to me because as of today it’s going for as much as $768.00 being classified as rare! Sad emoiji.

Do you have my copy of this? If so, why not have a friend email for my address me and return it to me anonymously?

After an afternoon of feeling helpless I realized there is at least one thing I can do. As of today, I will no longer be playing any Michael Jackson recordings publicly as a DJ. I realize the result of this decision could have negative monetary implications for the Jackson estate, possibly in excess of $0.05 however I think if every music programmer or DJ in the world did the same, even for year, the world might take notice.

Please watch, “Leaving Neverland.” I never fully understood the wide reaching destruction that child sex abuse causes. Thank you to the makers, the people at HBO and to everybody else that helped to bring this teary eye opening issue to the spotlight. If you don’t have access to it, email me and I will help you out.

Perfect Sleeper Part Two

By now, anybody with eyes is no doubt familiar with Joey’s seminal performance in, “Giant Logo” by acclaimed director of over 1000 commercials the great, Ahmed Lateef. Now instead of counting sheep let’s blog a moment for part two, for, “a new Joey – She’s more contemplative, quiet, beautiful. Ten giant mirrors will capture the beauty of The Perfect Sleeper and a crystal chandelier will add highlights to the mattress.” – getting hard yet? who’s got a semi? Show of hands…

roll it, Ahmed.

And yes, Virginia there are new Joey gifs and the first batch is about to drop righch-a-bout now.

“I thought I’d sort of do one of my oooh things and then bring it in for a silent ‘Hi’ with my eyes.”
“I thought maybe I’d feel it up front for a second then let it just dip down a little…but…I dunno”
Brush Brush Bump Toss Repeat (forever)
NOTE: keep your brush under the mattress, like Joey does.
Think about it, pout about it, wonder about it and then let it come up and right out of you…like no other performer can.

There will be more Joey gifs but there may never be a more perfect sleeper.

Firmness and comfort. That’s what you need for a perfect night’s sleep.