Announcing: Billy Beyond Book Reviews

Book reviews. Love ’em? Hate ’em? Ever read one?

Book reviews keep you from wasting your time and money by reading bad books which can result in tired eyes, financial problems due to the cost of books and a bitter personality.

Don’t want bad books, just want good books…Don’t want bad books, just want good books…

tk5im
Here’s a book!

marthastewartentertaing

Entertaining by Martha Stewart. ISBN:0-517-54419-9 Published 1982

I just found it today at a favorite merchant of mine in the quaint town of Port Chester, New York. BTW – Port Chester is a very “up and re-coming up again soon” type of town that is bound to not come up again and originally came up as a “PETA Please Cover Your Ears” type of whaling village “on the Sound,” and can be reached today by those coming from Manhattan’s Grand Central (Please Don’t Call It A Station) Terminal via the New Haven Line, on the off-peak, for the sum of four dollars and seventy-five cents when purchasing passage prior to boarding the train. Sounds pretty romantic, doesn’t it? Well it is.

For those seriously considering crossing the Harlem River by rail and exploring this “Get Off The Train And You’re There” type of destination for themselves, may I suggest you first familiarize yourself with the track and platform configurations of the station you’ll soon be using. It could save you time and it just could save a life, your own!

Platform and track configuration PORT CHESTER

3  New Haven Line for Grand Central
1  New Haven Line no stop
 Northeast Corridor no stop
2  New Haven Line no stop
 Northeast Corridor no stop
4  New Haven Line for New Haven – State Street

This station has two high-level side platforms each 10 cars long. The northern platform, adjacent to Track 3, is generally used by Westbound trains. The southern platform, adjacent to Track 4, is generally used by Eastbound trains. Bring a compass.

Back to the book. It’s great if you like to cook. It’s great if you like to cook hard things and very fussy, fancy foods. If you don’t cook often then I would still recommend this book because when you see pictures of a young, early Martha looking sort of like a later, future Martha you may, as I did, come closer to a general understanding of the concepts that surround time-travel and the very real possibility of alien cross-breeding in our society today. Caution: Do not look at the picture below for more than ten seconds.

img_6299

Nice tulips, right? But the thing I got stuck on was the ruffles. I fell into a ruffle rut. They call it a ruffle rut. Who ironed and styled these ruffles? How do you iron ruffles? No, how do YOU iron your ruffles, Martha? How? I want to see. Please can you show me how? Pleeeeeease can we iron the ruffles together tonight, Martha? I’m sorry…I’m sorry Martha…..

Highlights of Entertaining by Martha Stewart:

Details on roasting a young pig in “Hawaiian Luau For Twenty”

pig

Martha in a grass skirt. – Anybody in a grass skirt, really but…

marthagrassskirt

Martha in short shorts.

marthainshorts

Sexy chicken shots

img_6301

I would definitely recommend this book but if you want to buy it don’t go to the Salvation Army in Port Chester because they only had one copy.

 

 

Hawaii Connie

r-5499436-1394967390-3879-jpeg

I have quite a bit of Hawaiian music because I like it. Never been there. Like the music. This album from C. Francis is about as authentically Hawaiian as the bridal hair ornament she is wearing on the cover. Lovers of Hawaiian music may want to give this one a miss. jus sayin’.

If I ever make it to Polynesia, and if I am by then over the age of eighty, and if perhaps I happen to add a tuinol to my daily tylenol, then juuuust maybe I would think this record is great. Don’t get me wrong – Love Connie. Worship Connie. Hawaii Connie? Not so much. BUT in the spirit of the holidays I am offering an entirely OPTIONAL FREE DOWNLOAD of this ok album. To have your very own digital copy you may simply,

CLICK HERE.

Factoid: Christmas Island was discovered on Christmas Day (25 December) 1643. Christmas Island, kids.