The Time Has Come To End…

caftan discrimination.

Just stop it. Stop it today get yourself a caftan and feel proud and more comfortable tomorrow. Besides, it’s just too hot to wear anything else, am I right, kids? Waistbands are simply outdated. We’ve outgrown them. We no longer have waistlines. Why do we need waistbands? You can still have pockets on the sides too, that’s no problem. Imagine all the money you’ll save on belts. A nice Italian belt can be very dear in this economy and let’s face it…nobody is going to stop buying gas just because it costs $20.00 a gallon. Am I right, or what? Forget it! We’re not going to stop buying gas…How can we? We gotta drive just to get our over-priced food and a few yards of a lightweight, summery fabric (possibly a breathable and flow-ey cotton voile or a simple silk chiffon) in order to make our new kaftans! And listen, kids, this crazy kaftan discrimination thing is just disgusting to me. Who cares about your coordinated separates and your layers? How much time does it take you people to tuck everything in? I dont have time for tucking in August. I take my caftan off the hanger, throw it up over my head and do a praying hands over the head pose… like I’m about to dive up… and instantly I’m fully dressed! You can’t beat it. I’m saving time every morning here.

If you want my advice I think you should take your belt and pantyhose off, take your underwear off, slip into a one piece outfit and if anybody tries to poo poo your mumu, give em the finger. For all they know you could be skinny under all that fabric. It’s possible. You can even pretend you’re Elizabeth Taylor if you want to. Why not? Enjoy yourself! Would you rather be Mama Cass because you can go right ahead and do that too if you like. God bless that woman. What a talent. You know, come to think of it you could also pretend you’re Paul Lynde in Palm Springs but that takes a lot of gold medallions and a dry look hairstyle – too hard.

No shame in shifts, sisters. Keep it simple. You got a front and a back and they already sewed ’em together for ya.

Defile Claude Montana L’Automne ’85-’86

And you thought clones only sat at bars all night and cut hair all day…. Still waiting on the biopic here….doesn’t anybody want to call Ryan and plant the seed? Montana, people…not the state.

What About Gloria Swanson’s UFO?

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It happened. She got real excited when some guests arrived and told her they had just seen a crashed UFO on Mulholland Drive while on their way over. She and a carload of fellow believers, hightailed it right over to check it out and finally confirm the existence of extraterrestrial life, but it turned out to be just a junked prop. Miss Swanson was very let down (and let’s face it, who wouldn’t be?) but she still got the pic. Is she holding a notebook and glasses? Oh right, the Scientist Look… G.S. – the gifted lifelong style maker, correct as always. This photo is approved.

My Style Has No Style

“My [singing] style really has no style, because I try to sing each number differently. I’ve always believed that if style takes precedence over the words and music, the audience get’s cheated. It’s like when people see a fine play or movie. They imagine themselves in the leading role. I want them to imagine that they’re singing – not just listening to someone else.”
~Judy Garland

Desmond Is Lady Kier Is Amazing

Loving this insanity. Desmond got the looks…clock it… even Good Beat! This makes me happy. There is hope after all.

10, 10, 10, 10, 9 (so shady), 10 10 – This category is shut down – Give it to the child. Give the child the trophy. This is the future, people. ¡FUTURA!

Behind The Scenes of Halston

Halston, sure…but JERIANA!

The talented Miss San Juan’s costumes were critical to the success of the project. The series is a fast forward fashion flight from ’68 to ’90 and that’s a lot of garment bags, people. Heavy ones. Approximately fifty-million costumes were required for this gigantic fashion feature production and Jeriana and her crew got them all right. The result is authenticity with effect. Detail queens?…you may sit down now. Everything is perfect.

Brava G. S. J.

Costumes? Naildit.

LADIES…Number twenty, “CourregE-ish mono-new-clothes-osis.”
ULTRA BEAUTIES.
BEST HAIR AT VERSAILLE.
Halston HIGH hand holding? CHECK.
HOURS AND hours of calculated swish.
LOOK THAT UP IN YOUR FUNK AND DIAGONALS. ASYMMETRY WAS OBSERVED.
Pat pose number one hundred and forty seven, “Egyptian Feelings.” Leave it alone, it’s Dilone.