Ava Was Wonderful, But The Role Was Originally Mine

Like so many of my (almost) greatest performances, I was originally cast in some career making leading roles only to be replaced later because they didn’t want to go with an “unknown.” Here now a very rare clip from an early wardrobe test on Tennessee’s picture, “Night Of The Iguana.” Evidently La Gardner was doing some pretty thorough studying of this “unknown” because her performance was literally identical to mine on this particular take. If I had known I was teaching the Gardner to act I could have been charging tuition.

Just another untold tale of Tinseltown, kids. Now ROLL IT!

A Free Mini Masterclass with Miss Geraldine Page

(feedback) ….Welcome students and professionals. Our program for the Mini Masterclass in acting is about to begin. This is the Acting Mini Masterclass…so if you are not here to study acting, you are in the wrong place! Our guest instructor today is Miss Geraldine Page Torn.

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Yes! let’s hear it for her. Ladies and gentlemen, Gerry will be doing an acting demo for us then we’ll have a three minute break after which she will present us with another example of what she does so well, and that is of course, acting correctly. OK , so there will be no questions or discussion after the class, before the class, during the class or during the break. Please do not attempt to speak to Miss Page Torn at any time during our program. You got that? It’s not gonna happen.

Now, Miss P. Torn has given her very intense and hyper-detailed Mini Masterclass an appropriate title for us – she’s keeping it simple and to the point, learn from her, kids. So ,on behalf of the Billy Beyond Teach It Charitable Association and the Decoupage Institute of Technology at Queens College, I am very proud to give you now “Acting – This is how to do it.” with Miss Geraldine Page Torn. Hold your applause please. Quiet. Quiet please.

(So if I could just get each of you to click on that white arrow you see on the screen below, our masterclass will begin.)

The names of any other actors who appear in any scenes with Miss Page Torn are irrelevant and therefore have intentionally not been noted here.

3 MINUTE BREAK starts now. Please, as a reminder, there’s no smoking in the bathrooms and this also means vapes and JUULs. Okay? Seriously…

Ok…OK…Can we settle down please? Thank you. We are continuing with the second half of our class now and once again I’m going to need each of you to click right on that white arrow that you see in the center of the screen, right below here. OK? Amy? are you listening or are you looking for the perfect nut? I see you have a nice looking mix in that bag and I’m sure they are both delicious and nutritious but there is no eating anywhere in this building and that does include snacking. Ok? Thank you. Now…evidently some of you had some problems with the arrow clicking in the first half of our Masterclass…I’m sorry about that, uh…I’ve been told to tell you that you should click on the white arrow but only once. Just one click on that arrow and that’s it. OK? One click only. If you click on it twice, then it stops and Geraldine will be frozen in time forever….so…I’m sure none of us want that for such a generous and kind lady. OK? Once again, one click. So, here we go, now you can click that arrow and….oh….one more thing. Please be aware that the class will be ending immediately after this scene ends, so please, if you could just exit quickly out the main doors and not congregate in here when Miss Page has finished her demonstration for us..OK? We have another Masterclass coming in here very soon and we would like to give the cleaning crew enough time to wipe things down and whatever else it is they do….I don’t now…maybe vacuum I guess? … ANYWAY, let’s all settle down and enjoy the master talent of out Masterclass Instructor on the subject of “acting and how to do it correctly,” Miss Geraldine “Gerry” Page Torn.

….go ahead and click it! ( morons…)

Normally the names of any other actors who appear in any scene with Miss Page Torn are irrelevant and therefore are never noted, but there exists one exception, that being an appearance of any kind by the great Ruth Gordon. Miss Gordon appears here in a scene from “Whatever Happened To Aunt Alice.”

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πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘ Goodnight everyone. πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘ Be safe.

Goodnight. πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘ Just right out that door, same way you came in…yep.

Ok. You bet.

bye now.

A Quick Acting Exercise

Answering the door, as an actor you will need to have this skill. Here’s how to do it.

As an exercise, answer the door EXACTLY like this substituting “Stella” with the name of whomever is at your door. It’s OK to use “my (darling) neighbor,” or “the (darling) mailman” if you don’t know their name but it is not OK to omit the word “darling.” Answer the door exactly this way for six months to a year.

When A Clown Dies…

it’s sad and funny. Notice of this recent clown’s death came to me from VIBRATIONs

NEW YORK (AP) β€” A clown suffered a fatal collapse in front of spectators at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in New York City.

Sixty-seven-year-old Robert Blasetti went into cardiac arrest as he made balloon animals at Sixth Avenue and West 39th Street on Thursday. He was pronounced dead at a hospital.

When I think of a clown dying I think of only one thing – Chuckles’ The Clown’s funeral scene from The Mary Tyler Moore Show. It’s as important as the balcony scene when it’s theater you’re studying. Directed by Joan Darling...make no mistake. I was honored to be her student once, she gives chickens on your forehead. Now take a few minutes and enjoy your homework assignment here. This is good writing, good directing and good acting back when good TV wasn’t only on HBO.

…aaaand scene.