You know dear readers, I keep hearing: “I can’t believe that Volodymyr Zelensky won the presidency in Ukraine!?! He has no political experience!!”

You know what I say? So what. He’s a wildly popular, very talented comedian, and apparently he’s extremely intelligent. The highly rated television show he recently starred in is a TV series in which he played a history teacher who is elected president after his rant about government corruption on social media goes viral.

(art imitating life, or is it the other way around?)

His primary comedy focus has been political satire. I think he sounds like the “Ukrainian Stephen Colbert”. He’s also a very financially successful media mogul, and by all accounts, a really decent person. It may seem funny to some people that he was elected president, but that doesn’t sound like such a terrible choice to me.

Also, don’t forget that Italy had the honourable Ilona Staller..aka “Cicciolina” the porn star politician.

Staller was presented as a candidate to the Italian parliament by the Lista del Sole, Italy’s very first Green Party. In 1985, she switched to the Partito Radicale, campaigning on a libertarian platform against nuclear energy. She was also a staunch political supporter for human rights. She was elected to the Italian Parliament in 1987. She served there until 1993. Whilst in office, and before the outset of the Gulf War, she offered to have sex with Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein in return for peace in the region. In 2004, she announced plans to run for mayor of Milan. Only two years before that campaign she renewed her offer to have sex with Saddam Hussein in October 2002, when Iraq was resisting international pressure to allow inspections for weapons of mass destruction. In April 2006, she made the same offer to Osama bin Laden in return for dismantling the Al Qaeda terrorist cells and surrendering himself to authorities. So okay she’s more than a bit “kooky”…maybe she’s a completely unorthodox eccentric, but gee her heart is certainly in the right place.

And then…WOW.. France had a LEGITIMATE Super Model as their First Lady!

First of all, Carla Bruni is an actual supermodel, as well as a successful singer/songwriter, and political activist. She is the third wife of former French President Nicolas Sarkosy.

According to Forbes magazine, she was ranked 35th in 2010 in the list of the most powerful women in the world. Committed to social issues, in 2009 she created the Carla Bruni-Sarkozy Foundation to promote access to culture, the arts and knowledge for all. As a guitarist and singer /songwriter she has sold well over five million albums worldwide.

Carla Bruni won the Victoire Award for Female Artist of the Year at the 2007 Victoires de la Musique. She has also had the following accolades bestowed upon her:

In France she received The Knight of the Ordre des Arts et des Lettres, 2003. She was also awarded the Grand Cross of the Order of Charles III, 2009 in Spain, and finally in Benin she was given The Grand Cross of the National Order of Merit, 2010. Pretty impressive, right? What she has achieved is not what most people would have expected from anyone..let alone..some fashion model.

What do we have?

UGHH.

We have an orange coloured, fat-arsed, narcissistic, compulsive lying, undeducted, ignorant imbecile, with an atrociously ridiculous comb-over. He has publicly mocked a disabled journalist. He has been accused of sexual assault by countless women. He has been married three times and cheated on all three of them. He’s admitted (on audio tape) of “pussy grabbing”…gross.. we all know the rest of that story. He also paid a porn star hush-money to shut her up about their trysts before his 2016 election.

(could somebody please explain to me why the far right evangelical fundamentalist Christians still think that he’s a good person?!?)

He’s been an over-rated reality television star. etc. etc. etc.

But the thing he lies about more than ANYTHING else is about him being this bigly “successful businessman”. He’s so successful that he’s been bankrupted six times. His list of bogus enterprises is a litany of spectacular, catastrophic, fiscal failures….

Trump Vodka.

Trump University.

Trump Steaks.

Trump Airlines.

Trump: The Game by Milton Bradley. (i didn’t make that one up either)

Trump Casinos.

Trump magazine.

Trump Mortgage Brokers

Trumps travel site.

Trumpnet; an idea for a Trump’s comms company.

Trump’s cologne brands: 

“Success” by Trump, “Empire” by Trump, and “Donald Trump: The Fragrance”

Trump Tower Tampa.

The list goes on-and-on ad infinitum, and ad nauseam. If there’s one thing Trump is more sensitive about than his tiny orange coloured hands with their baby carrot fingers, it’s the actual amount of his net worth. As Hillary Clinton once quipped:

“He’s written a lot of books about business…but they all seem to end at Chapter 11.”

So yeah U.S.A… THIS is what WE have….

Who’s laughing now? Not me. I’d rather have an Intelligent witty comedian, a politically active porn star politician, or a real Supermodel/Singer/Songwriter/Musician. All three of those people would be an amazing change to the shit-show going on in the U.S.

(…and also who’s OUR First Lady again? Oh yeah, some D-list Eastern Block escort who plagiarises other people’s speeches)