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Lady Bunny’s New Crimped Wig
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Author Archives: Billy Beyond
Look Who’s On The Radio
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Bath House Beats 3 on Spotify
Hope you like ITALO. This is a playlist that is in progress – mostly mid ’80s. Steamy synthesized swish…clean towels and free water. The soundtrack that was the same no matter what city, what country or what continent you happened to be inhabiting that weekend. This is the international sound of gay disco. It plays through the mist that surrounds you now and from the cassette you will take back with you tomorrow. Alone in your premium priced privacy your key bracelet has locked the door and you are secure. Recline and listen hard. Resting and reflecting with eyes toward a ceiling, seeing what you are feeling, you are anywhere at once. You are feeling a new kind of big belonging. Then…
“Attention – Lockers fourteen, nineteen and thirty seven, you must renew. Fourteen, nineteen and thirty seven – you must renew now at the entrance desk.”
(pause)
“Attention, s’il vous plaît – Les casiers 14, 19 et 37 doivent être renouvelés Les casiers quatorze, dix-neuf et trente-sept doivent être remplacés au guichet.”
‘Ouch. That was way too loud.’ Time to take another lap and maybe bum a cigarette. “Wow, this music literally never ends.”
Flashcubes
Flashcubes were formerly flash “bulbs” which were occasionally known down South and around the trailer parks of Pennsyltucky as flash “bubs.” I have some, you bet I do and here’s your free tip about flashcubes if you’re using the Polaroid bigshot anytime soon – MAGICUBES. They’re better. They’re brighter. If you happen to be in front of one when it blasts get ready for a full minute of blue dot total blindness. Magicubes. Who makes ’em? Good question. Answer is nobody, idiot. They’re from the 60’s. Who used to make ’em? Sylvania, G.E. and Westinghouse mostly but Sylvania Magicubes are the only ones I trust and I tried ’em all. So remember now, Magicubes by Sylvania (like TRANSylvania but without the reassignment surgery.Now you’ll definitely remember.) Blue dots forever! You can close your eyes if you want to BUT IT DOESN”T GO AWAY!!!
Well gee uncle Billy, how do these magic cubes work?
Not magic cubes, kid. MAGICUBES. Two words in one – got it? Now put down your phone and I’ll tell you how they work and you’re going to be surprised because they actually have gun powder in them…like bullets…which kill people because of guns. Anyway, it’s like this….
The flashbulb is filled with combustible material (zirconium wool sealed under high pressure) and its base has a powder filled primer cap. When the shutter is released, a tiny hammer linked to the shutter release mechanism is actuated that strikes the base of the bulb setting off the charge in the primer. The primer in turn fires a flash charge that ignites the combustible mixture in the flashbulb producing flash of very high intensity.
It’s Michael Shulman’s Birthday Tomorrow
One Of These Things Was Not Like The Others
DJ DMITRY – Dear DJ Diary (In The Mind’s Eye)
A Quick Acting Exercise
Answering the door, as an actor you will need to have this skill. Here’s how to do it.
As an exercise, answer the door EXACTLY like this substituting “Stella” with the name of whomever is at your door. It’s OK to use “my (darling) neighbor,” or “the (darling) mailman” if you don’t know their name but it is not OK to omit the word “darling.” Answer the door exactly this way for six months to a year.
Disco Trek – The Universal Robot Band
When vinyl was the music, this track was a secret weapon of mine. Sister Dimension’s copy was handed down to me and I’ll tell you what – This track at the end of the night when the lights come up will get you a return booking. It’s the ultimate send off into the night for the drunks and still tripping party people. Actually this has to be the last track because nothing can ever be played after it.
This was me every night in my bedroom as a kid. Full flashlight fantasy festivals.
School Yourself On Sylvester
Let’s Get To Know Our New Contributor, Jason
Jason (blogospheric nom de plume “jaymayokay”) is an old (don’t say old) college chum of mine, a New York City ex-pat and a current resident of Australia. Here’s a short interview as introduction to you all, my concerned readers.
BB – Jason! Welcome to billybeyond.com We are so happy to add you to our roster of administrative contributing posters and Stay At Home Models! Firstly, is it really true that Southern Hemisphere Stay At Home Models turn in the opposite direction?
J – What an inspired question! Yes we absolutely do turn in the opposite direction. We also do other classic runway movements a little differently. We Southern Hemisphere gals also do split doubles, but we do them simultaneously whilst eating banana splits. Then as we reach the end of the pretend runway, we toss the empty bowls and spoons into our awestruck make-believe audience. As a finale´ we then actually DO the splits before our turns. Only then do we proceed back down the imaginary runway. (..and when I say “splits”..think Miss Tandi Dupree)
*additionally..here’s a little fun fact for our Northern Hemisphere Stay At Home modeling colleagues, and of course the innumerable fans…All of our aspirations, goals, and dreams for the future go swirling down the drain too….. BUT they swirl counterclockwise.
BB– Cute. Yes I do think Tandi when I think splits because it was actually me that posted that video to Youtube about a hundred years ago. I’m glad to see you’re keeping up…ummmm. Next question – If I were to facetime you, would you be upside down on my screen? I guess that’s technically a technical question but I’m wondering….hmmmm. Yeah.
J -That most certainly is a technical issue, and yes I would appear upside down. But just go to settings in your control center, and turn on your “Portrait Orientation Lock”. “Then what?” you might ask? Why, just simply hold your phone upside down as we FaceTime.
What’re we going to do with all this future?
BB – Good to know. This next question is one I ask everybody so I’m assuming that makes it appropriate.
Have you ever seen a UFO and if you have can please describe your experience for me?
J – Oh yes. I’ve seen thousands of Unidentified Frying Objects. I have no kitchen skills whatsoever, but I love a challenging recipe, and I’m always intoxicated, so I’m sure you can just imagine the ensuing fun. Oh the hilarity!
BB – Always, huh?…Good to know.
How important are unimportant blog posts to you?
a. Somewhat important
2. Important
III. Very important
d. Other (please explain)
J – Actually dull blog posts (much like any Kardashian) elicit feelings of blasé laissez-faire et ennui. N’est pas?
BB– Bien sûr, je ne pense pas qu’un dictionnaire sera nécessaire! – moving on. Favorite quote from Working Girl is….?
J – There IS only one quote.
BB – Interesting point of view…only one…like one God or one Universe…”there’s only one quote from Working Girl,” yet every word of it is quotable to fags like me….wow – that’s heavy. You’re deep. That’s good, we can use deep around here. Okay, Mister Jaymayokay, final question –
Is Easy On spray starch really that good?
J – See for yourself…
BB – Thank you and welcome ablog.
Thank-you so much for your amazing introduction Billy. I’m truly underwhelmed. It’s nearly a thrill to be joining you on this blogging adventure! I only hope that I can rise to the task, and contribute in a way that meets your exceptionally average standards!
I see new doors opening for all of us!
cute. uh huh. The intervew’s over, Jason. You can cool it with the gifs. Byeeeeeeeee
It’s Daffodil Time Again With Your DJ Billy Beyond
You may download a folder of these tracks directly from me HERE.
DAFFODIL TIME – With Your DJ Billy Beyond
Enjoy an hour of music from the late’20s/early ’30s most of which was recorded in the ’70s. There are quite a few original 78’s in there but when Nelson Riddle recreated the ’20s for The Great Gatsby in 1974 it sounded amazing – not necessarily authentic but clearer and with more dynamics and in stereo! Hellereo! Happy Spring to the right coasters and most of you fly overs. I love this musical vibe in the Springtime. You might too. You may also hate it. Listen and find out.
Joanne Daniels – After The Rainbow 12″ – 1985 Genre Defining Hi-NRG
Pure, vintage eighty-five Hi NRG right here, kids.
Bodymap adopted this track for their show in 1985 and it became our “must dance” track for the season. That year they brought their show to the Palladium in NYC. This track reminds me of those shows, foreign dancefloors, coming home exhausted at dawn and being ready for another night out by sundown.
Hi-NRG. It’ll wear you out.
Streaming Now – Hits of Then
The Early 1900’s Music Preservation Group is streaming their own 24 hour radio- It’s great if you like 78’s, are 78 or don’t want to keep waiting for the release of the new MAC iVictrola. iLove yesteryear. Always have. Did then, do now. They call it” Radio Dismuke.” I call it Radio John Dowd. – It’s a great soundtrack for a summer studio.
More moldy musical masterpieces are coming in a moment! My recently refreshed collection of music from the late ’20s / early ’30s is just about finished. “Daffodil Time” is twenty years old this Spring and sounds just as old as it ever did. Listening to too much of this type of music may induce a state of temporary “nutz.” Be warned and know your limits. – – – – Have you ever tried typing in time to the music pretending that your finger tips are tap shoes or am I the only one that does that? Try it. It’s pretty easy. I’m doing it now. Turn Typing into Tapping! Oooh! CAPS LOCK ball change….
Can someone please call the psych ward for me? I might need another bit of “rest.”
https://early1900s.org/radiodismuke/
Michael Jackson Reveals He Is In Heaven Afterall!
Tito, Marlon and Jackie are reported to be “feeling like fools” while LaToya has been quoted as saying, ” mmm hmmm.” Janet could not be reached for comment.
A Public Service Announcement Regarding Our Safety
On Heavy Rotation For The Classiest Spring Affairs
Grappelli and Menuhin. None finer. Best Album for this sound? – Tea For Two – 1978
Get it. It makes everything easier.
The Soundtrack To Your Spring Cleaning
This mix cleans under carpets – ALL the carpets – This mix doesn’t mind your Meile’s whir overtop and keeps you cleaning through every room. Make Alexa play it upstairs. Dance breaks are inevitable when switching cleaning heads – Keep it clean, people.
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