caftan discrimination.

Just stop it. Stop it today get yourself a caftan and feel proud and more comfortable tomorrow. Besides, it’s just too hot to wear anything else, am I right, kids? Waistbands are simply outdated. We’ve outgrown them. We no longer have waistlines. Why do we need waistbands? You can still have pockets on the sides too, that’s no problem. Imagine all the money you’ll save on belts. A nice Italian belt can be very dear in this economy and let’s face it…nobody is going to stop buying gas just because it costs $20.00 a gallon. Am I right, or what? Forget it! We’re not going to stop buying gas…How can we? We gotta drive just to get our over-priced food and a few yards of a lightweight, summery fabric (possibly a breathable and flow-ey cotton voile or a simple silk chiffon) in order to make our new kaftans! And listen, kids, this crazy kaftan discrimination thing is just disgusting to me. Who cares about your coordinated separates and your layers? How much time does it take you people to tuck everything in? I dont have time for tucking in August. I take my caftan off the hanger, throw it up over my head and do a praying hands over the head pose… like I’m about to dive up… and instantly I’m fully dressed! You can’t beat it. I’m saving time every morning here.

If you want my advice I think you should take your belt and pantyhose off, take your underwear off, slip into a one piece outfit and if anybody tries to poo poo your mumu, give em the finger. For all they know you could be skinny under all that fabric. It’s possible. You can even pretend you’re Elizabeth Taylor if you want to. Why not? Enjoy yourself! Would you rather be Mama Cass because you can go right ahead and do that too if you like. God bless that woman. What a talent. You know, come to think of it you could also pretend you’re Paul Lynde in Palm Springs but that takes a lot of gold medallions and a dry look hairstyle – too hard.

No shame in shifts, sisters. Keep it simple. You got a front and a back and they already sewed ’em together for ya.