Bath House Beats 3 on Spotify

Hope you like ITALO. This is a playlist that is in progress – mostly mid ’80s. Steamy synthesized swish…clean towels and free water. The soundtrack that was the same no matter what city, what country or what continent you happened to be inhabiting that weekend. This is the international sound of gay disco. It plays through the mist that surrounds you now and from the cassette you will take back with you tomorrow. Alone in your premium priced privacy your key bracelet has locked the door and you are secure. Recline and listen hard. Resting and reflecting with eyes toward a ceiling, seeing what you are feeling, you are anywhere at once. You are feeling a new kind of big belonging. Then…

“Attention – Lockers fourteen, nineteen and thirty seven, you must renew. Fourteen, nineteen and thirty seven – you must renew now at the entrance desk.”

(pause)

“Attention, s’il vous plaît – Les casiers 14, 19 et 37 doivent être renouvelés Les casiers quatorze, dix-neuf et trente-sept doivent être remplacés au guichet.”

‘Ouch. That was way too loud.’ Time to take another lap and maybe bum a cigarette. “Wow, this music literally never ends.”

Flashcubes

Flashcubes were formerly flash “bulbs” which were occasionally known down South and around the trailer parks of Pennsyltucky as flash “bubs.” I have some, you bet I do and here’s your free tip about flashcubes if you’re using the Polaroid bigshot anytime soon – MAGICUBES. They’re better. They’re brighter. If you happen to be in front of one when it blasts get ready for a full minute of blue dot total blindness. Magicubes. Who makes ’em? Good question. Answer is nobody, idiot. They’re from the 60’s. Who used to make ’em? Sylvania, G.E. and Westinghouse mostly but Sylvania Magicubes are the only ones I trust and I tried ’em all. So remember now, Magicubes by Sylvania (like TRANSylvania but without the reassignment surgery.Now you’ll definitely remember.) Blue dots forever! You can close your eyes if you want to BUT IT DOESN”T GO AWAY!!!

Well gee uncle Billy, how do these magic cubes work?

Not magic cubes, kid. MAGICUBES. Two words in one – got it? Now put down your phone and I’ll tell you how they work and you’re going to be surprised because they actually have gun powder in them…like bullets…which kill people because of guns. Anyway, it’s like this….

The flashbulb is filled with combustible material (zirconium wool sealed under high pressure) and its base has a powder filled primer cap. When the shutter is released, a tiny hammer linked to the shutter release mechanism is actuated that strikes the base of the bulb setting off the charge in the primer. The primer in turn fires a flash charge that ignites the combustible mixture in the flashbulb producing flash of very high intensity.

Preparing for Summer (part deux..or duh, depending upon your pronunciation…or perception)

Remember that with the arrival of the summer season come other dangers (in addition to the humiliation of wearing a bathing suit and showing your feet)

so don’t forget your sunscreen.