An often overlooked skill for any Stay At Home Model ( SAHM ) is that of not always appearing “to” float but that of appearing on a float. The beautiful people parade. They have done so for centuries and ours is not to change the course of history with our hips nor with our synchronized split-doubles. Ney, my sequestered secret super, parading is a skill like any other and should be considered with great earnest and practiced sincerely…more easily after a few drinks alone…in your mind’s gay parade who’s route passes right through your living room tonight!…thanks to an over active imagination that borders on a psychological disorder when you touch alcohol. I digess…digrest…I digresh…(hic)… oh come on! you know what I mean…
Appearing in a parade as a nameless gorgeous human is one of modeling’s most forgiving aspects with regard to one’s “semi-busted,” “sorta pretty,” or just “plain old,” face hence it is popular with SAHM’s as a favorite fantasy booking. Monet’s rejoice! It’s a long way from you to your often sun blinded audience and for once, the golden rule of transvestism applies to every fool on every float everywhere: “Keep it moving, and they’ll never notice it.”
The action at hand is waving. More precisely, waving with simultaneous extreme level ten facial modeling. There are only a few “pointers,” on waving since waving is something most people have been doing since before they could walk (on a runway) or talk (to their booker.) Keep in mind…most of us are lucky enough to have the ability to wave but please remember that somewhere in the world there is baby being born without hands. Think about it. Just bein able to model is a gift. That’s why they call it “the Present,” – wait. Cancel that. Wrong course. – May it suffice to say that when you were born, God gave you (unless you actually are that baby from somewhere in the world) a hand. Then do you know what He did? He gave you another one and by the miracle of the holy spotlight, you just had your first encore! Every parade is your chance to say thanks to Dog Backwards and to finally take your God given bow for being born. Now get on to that flatbed fantasy maker in your mind and shine…you crazy ass, drunk, think your still pretty, old delusional fool, Stay At Home Model!
Tips For Parade Modeling
The following is a Stay At Home Models EXCLUSIVE practice recording for Parade Modeling. You may download the file HERE.
As always, please exercise caution when practicing any stay at home modeling skill – coffee table corners can kill – Remember to clear them from your imaginary runway or not really there parade route pre-practice please.
Now, lock the door and close the drapes because it’s time to hit play and play Parade Practice!
Okay? Showing Out. Coming correct and garnering international acclaim with our initial notices. We are GAG. New York was GAGging.
Gays Against Guns, a new gun-control advocacy group, held “NRA Stay Away” and “NRA prepare to GAG” signs to wild applause.
According to a pamphlet, the group was formed to “stop the life-threatening convergence of homophobia and flawed gun policy.”
The group’s mission is to formalize “our responsibility” and create “our place within the larger pre-existing gun control movement through action.”
Jessica Dickerson, 32, who is a lesbian from Tampa, Fla., said she supports the gun-control issue.
“Things like Orlando are going to happen and the fact that anyone can carry a gun is a problem,” she said. “Guns are made for one purpose and if you have a gun, you’re probably going to use it. Peoples lives shouldn’t end this way. This is about love.”
The issue in Orlando was targeted, she said. “And now we feel particularly threatened. And guns were the problem.”
Signs referencing gun violence dotted the entire parade.
Earlier, a group of people covered in white veils, some carrying white parasols marched in a moment of silence for the victims.
And around 2 p.m., on the corner of West 8th Street and Fifth Avenue, one marcher held a sign reading: “Thou shalt not inflict thou hate on others.”
Marchers fell to the ground in front of the Stonewall Inn, in a form of protest known as a die-in, as another marcher, Bruce Kreuger, 65, stood holding a sign written in Arabic.
It said, he said, “Gays against guns.”
“I’m not Arab and I’m not gay but I’m really, really against guns,” Mr. Kreuger said. “I thought when I saw the sign if there are any gay Muslims out there, they’d take a look at that and say, ‘Hey I’m not alone.’”